So much of our life is about making choices. One way to make choices is to observe the way in which other people make choices. Another way is to have someone tell you what to choose. And yet another is to think things through and make your own decision.

Parenting is an interesting task in regards to teaching children how to make their own choices. Some children relish making their own choices while others resist and seem to be unable to make a decision about anything. It takes patience for adults to allow their children room to grow in this area.

Would you like cereal or pancakes? I want both says one child. Another says I don’t know, the third says pancakes and when the fourth says cereal the third says, no I want cereal and so you decide everyone is having cereal and when they get to the table and see cereal two start crying saying they wanted pancakes and you just feel like throwing your arms up in exasperation. Now you have a choice to make – cave in and make pancakes for the two who are crying or tell them it’s too late for pancakes because they clearly told you cereal. The other two are already almost finished. What do you say? What do you do? Kids aren’t supposed to go to school hungry and surely you don’t want them complaining to the teachers and their friends that you didn’t give them breakfast so you cave in and make them pancakes. STOP – right there. Don’t make them pancakes! Explain that they made their choice for cereal and that now they have another choice to make. You can go to school hungry and sad or you can go to school with a full stomach and happy – which would you prefer? Now one might say full and happy and the other mope and say hungry and angry. Let it be that way then – stop trying to reason with them because they have to learn this lesson for themselves. If you want you can let the teacher know you are working on making choices at home so they understand what’s happening. God bless the teachers for their patience and willingness to help their students and our children learn about making good choices.

Then of course you start shopping with them and they have to make decisions again about clothing. We have “X” amount of money in the budget – you need tops, jeans, socks and underwear. You look at the clothes with them and while teaching math let them make decisions about what they want to buy. There are five days in the week. They shop for tops and jeans and there is no money left for socks and underwear. You say – you’ll have to put back some tops and/or jeans so you can get some underwear and socks, which would you prefer to keep? I want them all – you can’t have them all. They start pouting – now what do you do? Let them keep all the tops and jeans and go home without socks and underwear? What if you said instead – We can go home with nothing and try again another day or you can put something back and we can go home with tops, jeans, socks and underwear. Which would you prefer?

They want certain toys that cost more than you can afford. Do you skip paying a bill and get the toy or do you you help them make a wish list or a chart and prioritize?

Some families go to the bank on payday with the children and cash their paycheck (or go and withdraw the money if it’s direct deposit). Then they get out the bills and have the children pay the bills with the money brought home so they can get an idea about what is happening and why all the spending decisions are occurring.

Then you have life choices to teach – like how to choose friends . . . that can get tricky because you know ultimately they will be choosing their own friends regardless of whether or not you approve because they have to make these choices for themselves. On these matters you can live in fear or you can live in faith as a parent. What does that mean – that you don’t pay attention to who your children choose as friends so you aren’t afraid? No – it means you pay attention and trust God when you are afraid of or worry about your children’s choices. Some people might think you are crazy trusting God, but sometimes as parents we have to get out of God’s way. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t stay alert and aware and communicate with the parents of your children’s friends, you should, but understand that every family doesn’t think like you or parent the way you do because they might not have the same values or belief system.

Nearing adulthood decisions or choices will have to be made in regards to career choices, marriage and family.

This is the way God created the world – with giving people freedom to choose how to live. The bible is full of stories about choices people made and how their lives were affected by those choices. It’s also full of stories about Jesus and the choices he made. That’s what the book “Praying Our Way Through Stress: Drawing Wisdom from the Lord’s Life and Prayer” is about. He made very wise choices and we can use his choices as a good model for our own lives.

Which way would you prefer to live? Your own way or more like His way? It’s your choice.

Let us pray . . .

Lord,
Today I choose to live more like you. Please help me to follow your example and make wise choices in my decisions so I may live in faith instead of fear. Help me make decisions that will help me to live in peace rather than being at odds with you, other people and myself. I ask this for the sake of the building up of your heavenly kingdom on earth. AMEN