(This song has also been given two other titles: “Break My Will” and “Living Water”)

Break my will, Lord and make it thine
Break my will, Lord and fill me
With Living Water restore my soul
Break my will, Lord and make me whole.

Holy Spirit, come touch me now
Holy Spirit, come touch me
With Living Water restore my soul
Holy Spirit, come touch me now.

Holy Spirit, come bathe me now
Holy Spirit, come bathe me
With Living Water restore my soul
Holy Spirit, come bathe me now.

Holy Spirit, come fill me now
Holy Spirit, come fill me
With Living Water restore my soul
Holy Spirit, come fill me now.

Holy Spirit come fill me now,
Come bathe me now,
Come touch me now,
Make me whole.

page 115 Praying Our Way Through Stress copyright 2013

I first wrote the lyrics to the above song at a Christian event, either an Alpha Conference, Weekend Retreat OR a Cursillo Weekend. I think it was an Alpha weekend. It’s been quite awhile so I don’t remember exactly when, but I do remember how the Holy Spirit came over me and weeping as the the melody and words came to me. I sang it to someone, came home and I recorded it on a tape recorder and in my typical manner I plunked it out on my keyboard. After having taken some lessons from a woman who worked at a local bank and who had been one of my customers when I sold cosmetics. She was so patient with me and was kind enough not to push me beyond what I wanted to learn – how to plunk out a melody. Once I got it plunked out I brought it to the worship team leader on our Alpha Course and to the organist at church. They both liked it, fixed it a little bit and eventually we began singing it at church and on Alpha weekends on occasion. I like working as a team on music, not separately. But not everyone wants to work as a team, I’ve learned that over the years. I also don’t mind letting something go to people who are better equipped once I give them the basics of what I’ve been inspired with. I have to admit though, I do like receiving a word of thanks when I share something with someone who can do better with it than me. I don’t appreciate their taking ownership of it as if it were their own. Why? Because I believe that ownership belongs to the Lord, I have been an open vessel. I also realize that Jesus said the worker deserves their wages. If I yielded myself to the Lord, I am his worker and I will receive wages of some sort from him and his people some day in some way. The best ‘wages’ I will ever receive will be when I get to hear him say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” He knows when that day is going to be, until then, I am just going to keep sharing this song. Eventually I’ll sing it my way and post it on You Tube.

Of course – there have been a few people who told me I should take some music classes, but I have never felt called to do that. I have only felt called to find people to help me get the right notes on paper. Most people who know something about music and are also friends have teased me that I tend to sing and hear in A flat and so they have to transcribe what I get on paper and then get me to sing it in a different key. I know they are trying to tell me something, but I don’t know if they realize that I think I lean toward being tone deaf. I could not look at a music and sign a note you point to. I think it’s so funny I laugh sometimes. I am totally foolish (unwise) when it comes to music – but I love music. I was asked to leave choir and told I might want to avoid music and try some other kind of art in college. So I did – except for one semester when I chose to join a choir at a nearby cloister and sing in the Messiah. That was memorable experience! I was surrounded by people with the most amazing voices that sometimes I just wanted to lip sync my way through to hear them. But they wouldn’t let me, they said my voice was necessary in order to give the choir the fullest sound possible. I remember walking home alone from practice that day weeping because these music students said they needed my voice.

I just love the ministry I receive when I let go of my self and feelings of inadequacy and allow the spirit to work through me in this unusual way. To me – it’s evidence that as broken as I am, as messy as my life has been, as rejected as I have often felt, God has never rejected me, has always desired and called me to be his daughter, Jesus has always wanted me to be his sister and become a mother (bearer) of his gospel message for the world.

Perhaps you think your voice for God, either your literal voice or your life voice isn’t necessary in this world. Maybe you think it’s not good enough, or you aren’t good enough, perhaps you’ve been told once too often that your sin is so disgusting that the Lord will never use you and there is no place you fit in the life or ministry of the church. Don’t believe that lie. Don’t listen to the forces of evil that desire to silence you. That’s the devil’s desire – to silence your testimony in the world today.

Ephesians 4:17-19 speaks about this . . . ‘no longer live . . . in the futility of their thinking.’

If the devil can silence you from singing for or speaking for God, then you will give yourself over to other ways of living or remain in a lifestyle of self-indulgence. It’s not an easy path to leave a lifestyle of self-indulgence, the change of heart leads to a change of thinking and many will not understand or like the changes. The devil will always be trying to silence you, but press into the Lord, he is stronger and wiser than the spiritual forces of evil at work in the world. . . Sing to the Lord a New Song with words or actions . . . Keep singing and living in the Spirit.

Let us pray,

Lord,
Please renew the face of the earth today by renewing and refreshing the spirit of people in the world today. Open hearts and minds of those living in darkness, those who have been discredited, silenced, oppressed, offended, those who have been hurt by the lies of other people told against you and against them. Cleanse hearts and minds as people surrender and express a desire for you to restore their lives. Restore the souls of your creation Lord, that we might all become co-workers on your behalf, united by the power of the Holy Spirit as Jesus prayed for us. AMEN